As the blog title suggests, some of you might be wondering if I’m amidst of breaking up my relationship. Yes I am single, and I shall not elaborate on how we ended up this way. After re-watching the recently posted video “Strangers, again.” countless times, I kept thinking on why did I not try to salvage our relationship, instead, “poof!” it’s gone.

Stage 1: Meeting; How the 2 individuals met, whether you believe in fate or not.
Stage 2: The chase; This part where the most important, the process. How many guys in this world don’t go to the extra mile to win the girl’s heart?
Stage 3: Honeymoon; Guys and gals, agree with me that if you have ever been into a relationship before, this is the sweetest moment any couple can be.
Stage 4: Comfortable; Neither good nor bad, just that the couple know each other too well until their true colours are revealed.
Stage 5: Tolerance; quarrel, quarrel and more quarrels. Any couple who goes through this stage, no matter succeed or fail, will still end up in stage 6, which is downhill and then eventually lead to stage 7, breaking up.

Being single can be viewed as a neutral status, depending on how one looks at it. For me, I will be using my free time to spend more time with my family, and of course, catch up with friends. But of course, memories will always be deeply etched into our hearts, never forgeting who they are.

(this part is reserved for future updating due to over-exhaution of the writer, sorry for the inconvenience caused.)

I guess most of the guys have to go through this period of time yeah. I can’t complain. Enlistment is just too soon. I have long planned for so many things but right now they are just so impossible. The thing is, I’m gonna lose my hair. Ohman. I wonder how I would look like without hair.

I’m suddenly lost for words.

Happy birthday Grace!

Oh well, had been feeling freaking tired these few days, and internet had been giving me quite a bit of problem. My temper is also getting worse in the kitchen as each day goes by. Oh well, I’m counting down to one more month before I graduate! How time flies, was telling YY today that we are gonna graduate soon. Haha.

Celebrated my aunt’s birthday at kallang leisure park’s kbox on sunday. First time going kbox with my entire family and I really felt young there. 7 year old charisse is in love with Taylor Swift’s Love Story. Haha.

Alright, it was carrie’s last day of school last friday, and also the SAFTI function. Know carrie through the same restaurant that we worked at, but she left when I joined. We had fun cursing and swearing at that particular someone who made our internship day sucked. We took photos and yeah, had fun.

We will miss you Carrie!

SAFTI function made my brain go mad. Although it’s just 75 pax function at jurong, there were so many preparations to do, and no mistakes can be made. This function made me realise that I had been too slack, or rather I have no banquet experience. From preparing of dressings and cold cuts in appetizers, soup and 3 different types of main courses. We set off at 2pm and went to the training institute. Everyone was like so stressed which made me stressed too. I was really confused and my mind just went blank.

First course; Mesclun mix served with smoked duck with orange compote, smoked salmon with wasabi mayonnaise.
Vegetarian Course; Victoria salad
Just look at how everyone was busy plating when I’m taking photos  HAHAHA.

See how Chef Adrian is grinning with satisfaction.

Final product, vegetarian appetizer, Victoria Salad

Final product, Mesclun mix served with smoked duck with orange compote, smoked salmon with wasabi mayo.

 Second course; Cream of mushroom
Vegetarian: Corn Chowder

Main Courses; Roast Beef, Salmon Steak or Chicken Roulade served with roasted potatoes and seasonal vegetables.
Vegetarian: Vegetarian Lasagne.
I only got one photo cos was getting really busy and I got scolded for taking photos during pick up time =O

Dessert; I think its some chocolate mousse cake. I cannot remember.
Vegetarian: Assorted fruit platter.

That’s all for SAFTI function. It was overall a good experience, at least now I know what a banquet is like.

Anyway, I was yearning to have a change of earpiece so daddy and mummy decided to sponsor me a new pair! I went to epiCentre at Somerset@313 to get the one that I wanted; a pair of earpiece with parallel left and right sides. I approached the salesman and asked if that particular pair that I was eyeing for had parallel sides, he nodded his head and said yes, so I went ahead to buy them. When I opened it, to my horror, it wasn’t the one which I wanted. I was so pissed and kept “whining”. Oh well. For those who do not get what I’m trying to say, here goes a drawing which I drew in paint so please don’t complain.

Gah. Suddenly thought of deli in school. The cycle is not so easy to follow but oh well, I’m trying my best. Really busy. I shouted yesterday cos I felt super irritated. People can burn the japanese curry, people can play during making of sandwiches. And I was darn busy doing my mis en place and the TR people kept coming to ask me questions which I’ve already explained. I was wrong to shout too, I should have kept my cool. Sorry guys!

Deli is not as easy to manage as one thinks it is. I don’t know how to please both sides. I have to try to reach the S$500 quota given to me. For this, I have to send out as much food as possible, but this will make the deli service very busy. So how?

Tired! Ciaoz.

I seriously find lifes’ a bitch right now. It seriously sucks, period. I can’t help but to feel this way, it’s like I’m starting to think of every single failure in my life.

And yeah so what if I’m the favourite student in class? So what if I best everyone else? So what if I score good grades? So what if I am so capable? So what?

“Oh Jeremy is bootlicking the chef! He works so hard in order for people to like him.” and etc.

I can be good but I don’t get the things I want in my life. SO WHAT FOR?

For me, 2010 wasn’t a good year to start with. So many problems in life; relationship problems, friends problems, cell problems, work problems. Every single day I have to face shit and yet I still have to fake a smile to tell you I’m feeling okay. Life’s becoming more and more like a daily routine. I want to live the way I want, but it ain’t happening.

And when the worse comes, your works don’t get appreciated (:

I still wanna thank all those who were there for me when I was feeling so down. Really thank you everyone.

I shall stop thinking about shit and go to sleep.

After celebration I went down hougang to meet someone, and headed down to the airport to have popeyes.

2009 is ending soon. One year has passed so fast, and then a new year is coming. This year had been a really rough year for me, and I hope everything gets better for me in 2010.

I’ve been blogging about stupid no sense stuffs here. Well, I guess I was out of my mind or something. Everything has changed and nothing is gonna be the same anymore. I know I’m being vague here but well, it’s better than spelling every single thing out here.

Now every morning, it’s back to just me and my nano to work. I used to look forward to seeing her every morning. I guess I’ll start dragging myself out of bed and going to work without anything to look forward to. Oh well. It’s back to normal outram park and then tanjong pagar mrt rides. Haha. Before I type my post, I really wanna thank her for everything, if she knows I’m talking about her.

Hi there, thank you for being there for me. You have been an impact in my life. You really changed me a lot for the past 7 months since my attachment started. If I did not met you in the mrt so coincidentally, I wouldn’t have changed. Yes, it was you who motivated me to go jogging, but yet I told you that I merely wanted to lose weight for my NS. You made me realise how important it is to be myself, and how I bring myself up. You made me kick the bad habit of being late. Thanks for waiting for me the so many times when I was late. I will definitely miss the breakfast times, and also everything. Really felt so happy whenever I’m with her. You made me like chinese songs again, but then again, not anymore now. The only reason why I hate chinese songs is that they bring back many hurtful memories and I’m the kind who gets emotional (not emo kid) easily. I miss the train rides together every morning. I miss milo-ing with you. Haha. Miss those lunch and dinner times together. Miss the toy catching at marina square. Thank you for being part of me (:

Well, we all just have to accept reality yah? Recently I had been dreaming of wonderful things. I wanna own a landed house with glass windows and doors, and a swimming pool outside. I wanna drive an Audi R8 too. Have a wonderful wife and cute little kids. I wanna built my own kitchen too. I wanna own a restaurant with a R&D lab beside it. So so so many things that I want, but the fact is that, I have to be realistic.

Right now, I just wanna cherish what I have now, and really not take granted of them.

Which brings me back to the topic to christianity. I have not been attending church since my attachment started. I guess I have missed out many things from God. I haven’t been worshipping him either. But He has been faithful to me all these while despite the fact that I had made Him very disappointed. I know that He has been waiting for me to call out to Him, which I didn’t. Just today, I was so hurt but then He was there to comfort me which I don’t deserve. Thank you Lord. And I’m down with flu, cough and sorethroat. Aye.

5 more months and I’m free from attachment. Time flies really fast. Oh well.

Am I really in love? I questioned my heart so many times, so many times that I doubted myself, telling myself that she’s not the one for me, but hey, I can’t, because I am really in love with her.

I feel so happy whenever I’m with her. I think about her every moment. I will feel so happy when I think about her, but at the same time, my heart hurts like shit.

All I can do is to watch over her, to make her feel as happy as she can. To drop her messages to ask how is she. I can only keep quiet.

Chye said, even idiots know that I’m in love with her.

Loving her is the happiest thing that happened in my life, but also the most painful thing which I am unable to express. I wonder if she feels the same.

Im in love with you, if you know who you are…

1 minute passed…. 3 minutes passed…. and 5 minutes passed…

The answer is no. And I went back to sleep for awhile more.

I thought I found my motivation for work, like finally. Was watching this video about how this guy, dragging his feet to work every morning, until he saw one girl near his office, his motivation to wake up early every morning just to see this girl.

 Never did I realise that I was being fooled by myself  all these while. It was all one-sided.

I’m like whining, but who cares? I’ve lost every single bit of motivation now. Nothing seems to mean anything to me anymore. (: I don’t give a shit already.