Till I See You

I guess I’m back to normal (:

I’ve been blogging about stupid no sense stuffs here. Well, I guess I was out of my mind or something. Everything has changed and nothing is gonna be the same anymore. I know I’m being vague here but well, it’s better than spelling every single thing out here.

Now every morning, it’s back to just me and my nano to work. I used to look forward to seeing her every morning. I guess I’ll start dragging myself out of bed and going to work without anything to look forward to. Oh well. It’s back to normal outram park and then tanjong pagar mrt rides. Haha. Before I type my post, I really wanna thank her for everything, if she knows I’m talking about her.

Hi there, thank you for being there for me. You have been an impact in my life. You really changed me a lot for the past 7 months since my attachment started. If I did not met you in the mrt so coincidentally, I wouldn’t have changed. Yes, it was you who motivated me to go jogging, but yet I told you that I merely wanted to lose weight for my NS. You made me realise how important it is to be myself, and how I bring myself up. You made me kick the bad habit of being late. Thanks for waiting for me the so many times when I was late. I will definitely miss the breakfast times, and also everything. Really felt so happy whenever I’m with her. You made me like chinese songs again, but then again, not anymore now. The only reason why I hate chinese songs is that they bring back many hurtful memories and I’m the kind who gets emotional (not emo kid) easily. I miss the train rides together every morning. I miss milo-ing with you. Haha. Miss those lunch and dinner times together. Miss the toy catching at marina square. Thank you for being part of me (:

Well, we all just have to accept reality yah? Recently I had been dreaming of wonderful things. I wanna own a landed house with glass windows and doors, and a swimming pool outside. I wanna drive an Audi R8 too. Have a wonderful wife and cute little kids. I wanna built my own kitchen too. I wanna own a restaurant with a R&D lab beside it. So so so many things that I want, but the fact is that, I have to be realistic.

Right now, I just wanna cherish what I have now, and really not take granted of them.

Which brings me back to the topic to christianity. I have not been attending church since my attachment started. I guess I have missed out many things from God. I haven’t been worshipping him either. But He has been faithful to me all these while despite the fact that I had made Him very disappointed. I know that He has been waiting for me to call out to Him, which I didn’t. Just today, I was so hurt but then He was there to comfort me which I don’t deserve. Thank you Lord. And I’m down with flu, cough and sorethroat. Aye.

5 more months and I’m free from attachment. Time flies really fast. Oh well.

I remember every single detail that I know about her. If she never appear in the mrt months ago, I wouldn’t have known that I had fallen in love, true love. I remember what she wore on the first day of work, I remember what colour she likes, I remember what she don’t eat, what she likes to eat. I remember her handphone number and IC number, I remember what car she likes, I remember what brands she like. I remember almost everything that I noticed about her.

Am I really in love? I questioned my heart so many times, so many times that I doubted myself, telling myself that she’s not the one for me, but hey, I can’t, because I am really in love with her.

I feel so happy whenever I’m with her. I think about her every moment. I will feel so happy when I think about her, but at the same time, my heart hurts like shit.

All I can do is to watch over her, to make her feel as happy as she can. To drop her messages to ask how is she. I can only keep quiet.

Chye said, even idiots know that I’m in love with her.

Loving her is the happiest thing that happened in my life, but also the most painful thing which I am unable to express. I wonder if she feels the same.

Im in love with you, if you know who you are…

I woke up at 7.15am this morning and sat up on my bed. I thought to myself, is there anything I can look forward to today? Will everything gonna be the same again? Is there anything worth to get excited over?

1 minute passed…. 3 minutes passed…. and 5 minutes passed…

The answer is no. And I went back to sleep for awhile more.

I had been a fool all these while, really. Thinking how stupid, how ignorant I can be. Thinking of it, I really wanna laugh so hard at myself, but then I can’t;  the pain is too excruciating to bear.

I thought I found my motivation for work, like finally. Was watching this video about how this guy, dragging his feet to work every morning, until he saw one girl near his office, his motivation to wake up early every morning just to see this girl.

 Never did I realise that I was being fooled by myself  all these while. It was all one-sided.

I’m like whining, but who cares? I’ve lost every single bit of motivation now. Nothing seems to mean anything to me anymore. (: I don’t give a shit already.

Today marks the 20th year of my life, which means I am offically 20 years old. Kind of sad that I’m actually out of my “teen” years, but life still has to go on.

As I’m typing this post out, many things just keep running though my mind. I am thinking right now, what actually happened to me for the past 10 years. From the start of my adolescence age till now. Schools, homework, exams, scolding, canning, detention etc. Used to be so ignorant about life, unlike now like I’m actually doing my attachment, starting to think more like an adult. It’s funny how I used to like a girl and I just tell her, “hey i like you, can you give me one chance?” But now things are like more different when I like a girl, I’ll keep mum about it, and think if I really like her. And I’m starting to like plan my future, carve out my career path. Everything seemed different.

Sometimes it’s really good to reflect on what you have done, and what you can do to correct your past mistakes, like right now I’m thinking 10 years back. It’s gonna be a new journey for me. I will definitely miss my childhood days and school days. The next few years might be an exciting journey for me, with ups and downs, and who knows what’s gonna happen. I hope this birthday turn out not just to be a celebration, but also as a starting point of my new life to be living with a big two in front of my age.

somehow it just hurts so deeply inside, like a thousand blades just pierce through my heart upon learning that one thing, when the clock struck 12am on the 16th of september 2009. why? what a day to start of with.

Well well, as the title suggests, in a few days time, my 3 month probation in sweet indulgence will end. This means I am entitled to annual leave etc. Time flies, my 4th month attachment is just next week.

Work had been tough, really tough. I could really feel the strain. Been feeling so tired recently due to lack of sleep and also pressure from the higher ups. I have another 9 months to go. Internship was never easy and never it will be, you’ll get a lot of shit even if you are right. Sometimes I really feel like just self praising myself a little, because you will never get praised even if you are doing it the right way.

Sometimes I’ll  tell myself, good job jeremy!
Sometimes I’ll share stuffs with friends, but in the end I’ll get back comments like, I’m too proud of myself.

Nothing seems satisfactory in this world, or rather, you will never get full satisfaction from people or from the things you do. A very demanding world.

Luckily for me, I have a good friend by my side like most of the time at work. Sometimes I feel that our minds are totally synced with each other. Sometimes we quarrel, and are those going-to-fight-you-take-action-i-will-take-action-back-on-you kind of quarrel. And one day, he said something which I totally agree with, ” Fights and quarrels makes friendships stronger”. Don’t you guys agree too?

Anyway, here’s a photo of the both of us =D

I’m getting so excited of crew 9’s overseas trip at the end of our attachment! Whee!

Anyway, 2 girls from st nics joined us this week to work as part of their school programme. Indeed I was very impressed with them. They are only 15, zero working experience and know nuts about f&b, but they picked up really fast, and I meant reallllllly fast. They worked as servers but then we also taught them a little about food. They knew exactly what to do by showing them just once. Very impressive, expected from girls from st nics.

They did stuffs like frying veg, cutting mushrooms, slicing onions, cutting and packing of cakes etc. And also, the warm chocolate dessert. One of the most tedious and time consuming steps was brushing of butter and coating of flour on the molds, which they mastered in just one try, and did their own plating of dessert after watching me.

Their first attempt of plating

Today was their last day as they have to return to school next week. We brought them to Sakae Sushi to have buffet lunch. At the end of the day, we took photos together and exchanged numbers. The 2 girls even bought Ferrero Rocher for us! So sweet of them. I will really miss them. Really enjoyed working with them; the 2 cute little girls. Haha.

Charlyn and me (:

Ying tong and me (:

All of us (:

Hope to see you girls again (:

It’s coming to one month since I first started my attachment. Time flies so fast, and I’m happy about it. 11 months to go. I was actually proud of myself for the first time(not really first time haha) that I was able to grasp things fast at the restaurant. Now it’s time to improve on my speed and management.

I’ve learnt a lot in this past month, like really a lot. The most important thing is that human cannot merely rely on their own strengths, but rely on God. Because without Him, everything that we do will seem almost impossible for us. Things which happened in the kitchen or the entire restaurant lets us experience something new everyday, be it good or bad, there is always something to learn out of it.

Something moved my heart when I went to the usual food centre at Amoy Street. We had very late lunch cos boss came down. Almost 90% of the stalls were closed, so I had fish soup with rice as there were limited choices. Sat down on the table and ordered my usual ice lemon tea from the same stall I’ve been patronising for the past +-26 days. The shop is actually owned by one guy, his parents and his wife. Due to some house matters, everybody went home except the guy’s dad. He really reminds me of my grandfather which I don’t know why. Anyway, I have not seen him done drinks before, except for teh tarik. All the while I’ve been noticing that he only serve drinks to customers and collect money. When he served the homemade ice lemon tea, he added a word to it, and called it special as he added lime into it, and then with a smile on his face. I took a sip and I was rather amused. It tasted exactly like water, just that I could taste a tinch of lemon and lime, but completely diluted.

BUT HEY.

Something struck my heart when I had that sip. I could sense that he made the drink with love. I understand that he has never done any other drinks except for teh tarik, but he still managed to serve us the drinks that we ordered. And that was then, I realised one truth; who gives a heck if the food is good or not, whether the drink is good or not? The most important thing is that you make it with your heart. Customers will always come back not only for your food, but because of you, who made the difference. I don’t know if you guys think that I’m wasting time typing out this post, or I’ve wasted your precious time after reading this, but I just want everyone to realise this, it doesn’t matter if something turns out not the way you wanted, as long as the person puts his heart into it, it’s perfect.

woo payday coming!

Well, as the title suggests, yes, it’s time to bid farewell to shatec after one year. Before I start my post on shatec, I wanna proudly announce that…

MY GRANDPARENTS GOT BAPTISED ON SATURDAY!

Alright. Saturday was the last day of school officially. It was the last exam paper that we had to take. Everyone stayed back to take photos and well, hug each other and talked a bit. It’s just so fast, like a blink of an eye, 1 year has just passed. Looking back to the first few days in school, everyone were strangers, and just as we are bonded, we all are separated. It has been a good year in shatec even though there were bad times. Really wanna thank every single of you in DCS 408 B, without you guys, there wouldn’t be the me now. I really enjoyed the days we spent doing projects, having meals together, going to westmall, canteen, coffeeshop etc. Enjoyed the days we had in charcoal, rosette, production and of course I won’t forget the 3 days we really worked together as a team for our Event Catering. I once was a very sensitive and bad-tempered guy, but all of you changed me, changed me for the better.

Won’t forget the classrooms we had lessons in. Class 2, 9, 10, 11, computer lab, beverage lab, tiger beer room etc… So much fun and laughter and so much of quarrelling together. Now, it’s time to say goodbye to everyone, but I will never forget you guys. All the best in whatever hotels/restaurants you guys got into. Meet up whenever possible, especially crew 9! Will update if I have the time!

View of the back of shatec

everyone!

matt, leong, ray and me!

crew 9!

 

crew 9 fun pose!

goodbye shatec!

I believe most kids/teenagers want to grow up quickly because they want to have freedom, money etc. I once too, wanted to grow up to be like an adult when I was much younger.

Many people went through pre-school, kindergarten, primary school, secondary school, jc/tertiary institutes going through books and more books. Some go schools for the sake of going, and never ever realise the importance of education. I am one of those people.

My parents used to tell me,” Study hard now when you get the chance, you have nothing to worry about as a student. Just study and get good grades. When you start working, you will know what its like in the real world”.

I never ever took those words seriously.

It’s one more month to my industrial attachment. I signed contract with Sweet Indulgence a few nights ago and my work is scheduled to start the first day of April. Happy April’s Fool uh. I will be working there for 1 year, 6 days a week from 10am to 10pm. Although I’m excited about it, but then it means that I will hardly see my family and friends. I won’t have time to go out or do the things I usually do. I used to complain that I hardly have time for anything, now I realise that I really will have not much time to spend.

I graduated from megalife and sk2 last year, and managed to assimilate into highlife and poly 5 smoothly. Right now I’m happy in my current cell, but I only have one month left with them. Once attachment starts, I will not be able to make it for cell. In this cell for around a year plus and I have to leave again, to NS cell once I complete my attachment. What is this?

I will miss my friends. Love you guys, DCS 408 B, poly 5, sk2 and many more.

I’m still considering if I should join Highlife worship ministry.

I really don’t feel like growing up. So many thoughts are just running through my mind right now. I haven’t even started work and I’m worrying about so many things. But then God made me realise one thing, and that is He is by my side. He made everything that happened for a reason. God, I wanna rely on you, please take the steering wheel and guide the way You want me to go. Let me rely on you once more.

Sarang hae, An Suyoung.  Nul bo go ship-da.

I suddenly felt so confused. I wonder what’s going on in my life. This and that, everything.

 I suddenly miss my secondary school days.

And, attachment stuff is driving me crazy. Sigh.